venus-worshipper:

stop telling mentally ill people that no one is gonna love them if they don’t love themselves that’s actually really fucked up and you need to reconsider why you think someone who’s been brutalized into hating themselves doesn’t deserve love

That’s a really black and white way of looking at it. Sorry, victimizing yourself whenever you get even the slightest dose of reality isn’t going to help you, your mental illness, or your romantic life.

When you put zero self worth in yourself, you push that emotional baggage on the partner. Suddenly, they’re carrying the emotional responsibility of loving you on your behalf. You rely on them for your self-worth. It’s kind of like holding them emotionally hostage.

A healthy relationship should never be a co dependent one. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility to “complete” you or “fix” you.

God forbid things don’t work out and you break up. This is how people become suicidal after the end of a relationship.

And honestly, anyone who looks at this phrase and immediately goes to the self-victimizing role of “Oh, so you’re saying I don’t deserve to be loved”, twisting their words in order to deflect all self-responsibility and guilt trip a person into their viewpoint, is a gigantic fucking red flag.

It shows a lack of emotional maturity, objective reasoning, or a will to better themselves. It means, anytime we have a disagreement, you’re going to use your mental illness as a crutch in order to to play the victim role, and I’m sorry, I don’t have time or patience for that, and neither do most people.