racieb:

do-not-sit-next-to-dennis:

This synopsis is literally the ultimate one sentence horror story for me.

This entire movie is extraordinary in its complete ignorance of science. Last time I watched it I tried to keep track of all the screwups and things that just plain didn’t make sense, and I couldn’t keep up!

Stuff I can remember off the top of my head – if you gassed a bunch of tarantulas out of the trees, they would absolutely die on impact with the ground. Tarantulas can’t survive a fall of a few inches let alone dozens of feet.

The coffin scenario was just.. how does an animal smaller than your hand drain an adult human body of all fluids in like a couple days??? Where does it fit all of that???? I like how it then manages to wander away once it gets to the US, a bird snatches it up (somehow NOT killing it) flies around, gets bitten, and drops dead instantly (somehow once again NOT killing it.)

Then the foreign killer tarantula goes and starts breeding with.. orb weavers it found in a barn?! These animals are roughly as related to one another as a housecat and a grizzly bear, where’s my spoopy movie about THAT hybrid?